The Demented Harry Potter OneShots
by The Crazy Sausage Dog
Summary: A whole buch of crazy Harry Potter oneshots that are funny. Plase R&R. NO FLAMES


**Disclaimer: **I DO NOT own Harry Potter and the story's characters. I do own Hexa and the Geometric giraffe though. And Giraffelumps. Idon't own the macarena as well

**Note: **This first story is dedicated to my friend Emilee and her giraffe pencil which has a broken neck. This story isn't supposed to make too much sense but makes a bit of sense though.

**The Demented Harry Potter One-Shots**

**Number 1: Harry Potter and the Geometric Giraffe**

It was in the middle of the fourth year of Harry Potter's first year at Hogwarts. Harry had met a girl he had never seen at the school before. Her name was Hexa. She had black hair tied up in a bun which was shaped as a hexagon and a hairclip with a blue hexagon clipped in her hair. She had dark blue eyes and a very pale face. She was really skinny, tall and had long fingernails. She was in Gryffindor.

"Hello Hexa" Harry said to her one morning in the Gryffindor common room

"Allo Governor" Hexa chirped

"So what do you have next?" Hermione asked

"Oh, I have potions class"

"Who's your teacher?" Ron asked

"Professor Snape you idiot we only have one potions teacher" Hexa yelled

"Have you heard the news? There is a rumour about one student who transforms into a giraffe which has hexagons as spots. Every single night" Ron said to his friends

"Yeah, Harry and I have been discussing it" Hermione said "Apparently she has higher grades than me when it comes to transforming things"

"Whoa" Hexa said dully

"You don't care!?" Harry asked Hexa

"Whatever" Hexa sneered

"So anyway Harry" Hermione continued

"Oh look over there!" Hexa yelled as she pointed towards the couch.

"What?" The others said

Hexa disappeared into her room. Everybody heard a cashing noise and saw a blue giraffe with purple spots that are shaped like hexagons. Its eyes were perfect circles and its feet are perfect crescents.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" laughed the giraffe aka Hexa aka the geometric giraffe "I am Hexa, the Geometric Giraffe! Fear me!"

"No! I will not fear you" Harry screamed

"Alrighty, then, Harry. I shall do Kung Fu on you" Hexa screamed

"But you're a giraffe!" Hermione stated

"Just because I don't even know one move of Kung Fu I still know how to do it" Hexa snapped "Now fear me or I'll do the Macarena"

"Nooooo! Not the Macarena!" Ron screamed

"Oh shut up Ron!" Hermione said, slapping Ron

"Ouch" Ron whined

"FEAR ME!!!!!!!!! Not Hermione! ME!" Hexa screamed "I'm doing the Macarena!"

Hexa switched on a CD player and did the Macarena. She danced and everybody turned into giraffes. Then they did the Macarena as well. Then they all exploded because it was too much. Then Hogwarts turned into "Giraffelumps, school of geometry, transformation and dancing. For giraffes only" Then the four houses turned into Triangle, Square, Circle and Hexagon. Then all the giraffes in the world joined Giraffelumps and ruled the world and turned everyone in the world into giraffes. Then they exploded because they didn't know how to be giraffes. Then Hexa became principal. Then Giraffelumps moved to Africa.

Hexa was in Hexagon. Hexagon is the smart house because they are full of the blue giraffes. Blue giraffes are smart because they buy text books and rulers. They also have big heads. Circle is full of red giraffes. Red giraffes are the brave giraffes and they are all sticky uppy. Triangle is full of yellow giraffes. Yellow giraffes are all nice and caring and chatty. Square is full of green giraffes. Green giraffes are all mean and bitter and cynical so don't bother making friends with them.

But then Dumbledore restored Hogwarts by moving it back to wherever it was before and turned everyone back to humans and Hexa was moved to a mental asylum for idiot witches and wizards. A spell was cast on Hexa to stop her from turning into the Geometric Giraffe. Then Hexa got expelled from Hogwarts when she got out of the wacky shack. So she ended up working at Hogwarts as a toilet cleaner.

**The End**

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_My first Harry Potter story. I find it funny how I wrote that. It is so ridiculous. **This story is supposed to be crazy. **Up next are Harry Potter and the Dragon formerly known as Iceberg and Harry Potter and the Shetland pony. **NO FLAMES!!!!!!!!**_


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